February 27, 2008

I’ve been hesitant to write another email because I always say “We’re okay, and we feel a lot of peace.” I write that and then tell you something worse than the previous email. Well, we are calm. We feel peace, and we are fine. I actually feel so good that Ward has to tie me down because I want to go run in the running weather—he doesn’t really tie me down—I’m not that recovered from my surgery. But I really want to be out there running down the road like nothing’s wrong. We are learning new things everyday. But on Monday we found out that the tumor was really Melanoma. Why couldn’t the pathologists here in Utah tell us that? I don’t know for sure, but the final report was read by a big Melanoma guru—if you can call somebody that. My Dr. here in Utah was in awe that he was the one reading my results. Anyway, it’s a-typical, so it was different in some way. I wish it was different in a good way.

Because the Melanoma has spread to other organs in my body (besides the first location 6 ½ years ago) it is classed as Stage IV. There are only four stages of Melanoma, but we are encouraged because the MRI I had done didn’t register anything in my brain. I have a PET (or a full body scan) scheduled for next Wednesday. We have met with some
Oncologists and we are pretty sure that the treatment I will be receiving will be in Colorado. Not even the Huntsman center in Salt Lake has the treatment that I will be receiving. It is called Biochemotherapy. It’s relatively new, but there has been success with this treatment more than any other treatment. I’m still learning about it. Meanwhile Ward and I are just trying to wake up from this silly dream, but we wake up and it’s all still here.

I have a wonderful positive Pulmonologist who said he would remain my primary care physician, as I didn’t have one before. I have learned that while my insurance hasn’t been the best here in Utah it is a complete blessing that I have this particular plan because they will cover me for treatment in Colorado and my family’s lifetime maximum is 4 million dollars more than the plan we had with IHC (Our previous plan). I told Ward I’ve always wanted to go to Denver, so here we go.

While we wake up and still are in this thing we feel like is a dream, we still wake up and have our little girls and each other. Things happen so fast, and we always think they will happen to somebody else. We could lose each other so easily some other way. I’m grateful for where I am in my life, for the hope we have, and the peace that God is giving us. It is truly a gift. I’m grateful I get to still hold and play with my girls. I’m grateful for a husband who will cook and clean and kiss me every night. I’m grateful for friendships and the opportunity I have to tell you how much I love you. We Creagers are strong. We’re going to do everything in our power to make this into a good situation. Don’t worry about us, but please still pray.

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